I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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