Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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