So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
