i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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