Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
