Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Apparently you make a good broom.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dicks are not precious.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
