Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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