your parents love me but you hate me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
