You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
