atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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