The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
