it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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