my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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