i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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