just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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