did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Acid is not a monday night drug
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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