all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
