omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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