Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
