He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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