So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
