Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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