So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
