i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
