Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
