just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I want is dick and wine.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
