He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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