fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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