high people should be assigned attendants
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You don't make any sense
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