ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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