Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
