And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I need to sanitize my soul.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
