The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
