You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
