When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
