Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she told me i tasted like america
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
