Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Randomize
