Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
