People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
