Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
