she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
