I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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