the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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