Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
