It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
