I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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