The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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