His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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