...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
