i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
